“It took maybe a half-hour before the rug started to come out from under me. I don’t know how it is with men, but I can imagine it’s uglier. Anyway, in the days after seeing this for the first time I did some things. Some things that I’m not proud of…”I interrupted her, “To Ted – is Ted alright?” I had a momentary moment of panic, since I don’t really stay in contact with him, not so much for concern but that I would miss the option of beating the shit out of him.She looked at me as if I was stupid, “What? No, of course not.”She gathered up her courage again and said, “But I wanted to get back at him so I did some things, with other men. With… eleven other men. So far.” She looked away, momentarily abashed, “But it hasn’t helped.”She looked back into my eyes, and placed one hand on my thigh. I became aware that my hard-on had been constant.She said, “And it won’t help you either. If you find eleven, or fifty other women and ‘do’ each one – it won’t matter. Even if you do something to. Why do you thinkthat you are unfit for any man?" Hannah blushed even more and for severalminutes did not reply. Finally, she said in a whisper so low that RabbiHirsch had to lean forward to hear her. "It is a long and sad story, yourhonor, but you are the president of the Beis Din and so I am obliged totell you. I will leave it to your judgment as to whether this tale isever to be repeated." I was born, your honor, in the city of Safed, the home of the holy Ari,the great kabbalist, from whom I am directly descended on my mother'sside. I was not what I am now - I was born a male, and was trained as ayeshiva scholar, like your grandson. Like him, I was called an illui, agenius, and a great future was predicted for me. At the age of 20, amatch was arranged between me and Golda, the only granddaughter of themiracle-worker Rebbe Mendel of Provishch. Our marriage was, of course,consummated and in due time our daughter Hassia was born. Two monthsafter her birth, tragedy struck. My wife, may.
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