She thought I was about to say 'no'.It was just too much. My heart racing, I put the directional signal on, slowed the car and eased off onto the apron of the superhighway and stopped the car. Next to us five lanes of rush hour traffic streamed past, vibrating the air and rocking us as each vehicle in the nearest lane passed.Reaching to her, I rested my hand on hers. "Listen to me Betsy. You don't understand. Because of mom, and the secret of what's been happening between us, I've pushed my feelings for you back, tried to repress them. I was wrong! They're too strong to deny. I was afraid to admit to myself how desperately I needed to hold you in my arms, kiss you, lay beside you in the night, make you mine. Finally, after yesterday, I let myself think about you for the first time without everything else confusing me. At once, amazingly, it was so simple, so clear; what I'm feeling is love."I drew a breath, sat silently for a second or two, then kept going, letting it all flow out of. And the longer I resist, the more it pressures meto act." And there's only one more thing on the checklist," Karen said."Well there's only one thing I feel pressured to do," Brandi smiled."What bothers me though is I still don't know who I am. Is everything Ido based upon behavior that was programmed into me? Am I just a weaponthat acts like a person?" Brandi if you can ask that question I think you have the answer," Karensaid. "If you were nothing more than a weapon, a human looking machine,you wouldn't have these doubts and fears." I guess you're right," Brandi said."After last night do you feel different towards girls?" Melissa asked.Brandi considered the question carefully before answering, "No, notreally. It's very hard to explain. What I feel about sex is one thing;there is this very powerful attraction to both men and women. The thoughtof being with a man still scares the hell out of me, but after lastnight...after we were together, well I'm not afraid of being with awoman,.
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