“Don’t be,” he interrupted.“But it’s all...”“Your fault? That’s not the way I want to think about it, okay?”“And you haven’t even had your fantasy,” I said anxiously. “That’ll be nearly impossible if we have a baby.”“There’s still time for that,” he smiled knowingly. “Don’t you worry!”“What do you mean?” I asked as we pulled into the hospital car park.“I’ve had an idea,” he said jumping out of the driving seat and running round to my side to help me out.I smiled; Pete was acting the over-cautious expectant father already.“So what’s the idea?” I asked him as we walked towards the building together.“Never you mind,” he grinned. “Have a good day, Penn.”With that, my husband went into work without saying another word.*The next week was as close to normal as it could have been. We both went to work, we ate together, watched television together, talked together and even slept together in the biblical sense, sadly still without orgasms for me despite the heightened sensitivity my pregnancy. Later I made a point of asking Father Al about what to do about the situation, and he seemed lost in thought for a good long time. ‘The last time we talked I mentioned deep ocean currents – that is what is driving him now and will yet for some little time to come. He’s just discovering that his fate is not really his own and certain past decisions are coming back to haunt him. He will be better for the experience, but later. He certainly bears Chris no ill will and never has, and sometimes the greatest stage comedies do start with a tragic error or misunderstanding. All will be well, but now is not the time to go fishing into those abyssal depths. Remain a seed pod gently floating unseen on those still calm waters and pray instead that you continue to find fertile soil in which to grow yourself, and pray that the great sharks and leviathan creatures of the deep never spot you. For starters your mistress, the most formidable Doctor White – or is it soon to become Gartner? – would be.
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