By the way, it’s seven thirty so hurry up.”“I’ll be down in ten,” I say as the bedroom door slams shut.As the bath towel falls from my face, I glance at myself in the mirror. Noticing the jungle around my man parts, I realize I haven’t cut the grass in some time. As I consider the potential shock factor, I decide to give myself a haircut.Gathering the required tools, I begin to consider shaving clean. From watching porn on the internet, I have this notion that this younger generation prefers this. After devoting all of about ten seconds to the idea, I determine bald is not for me.With scissors in hand, I remove patches at a time. After a few cuts, the area is looking much better. Thank goodness, I am not a hairy man. Therefore, only a small area needs to be cleaned up.Again Sara knocks on the door. “Dad.”“Yes, Sara.”“What is taking you so long?”“Do you want the truth?”“You know I do.”“Well, I had to mow the lawn. If you know what I mean.”She snickers. “That’s a nice. However, Kim is. The reader may be wondering: Why doesn't Brett put liquid paper on hisnails to cover the polish? The answer is: Like many self centred people,Brett wasn't particularly bright, (as the above may show) having more egothan wisdom; so it never occurred to him. Neither did wearing gloves.Even so, he did attempt other, unconventional methods; such as trying toscrape the polish off with a knife blade. Fortunately makeup did notprove as difficult to remove, even if it did magically reappear everytime he left the house.Satisfied that he looked more like a guy now, Brett decided to stay athome for the rest of the day.Been only three days into a seven day ordeal, Brett needed to find waysto occupy his time. Television is often the first thing that comes tomind, but he found himself flicking through many channels only to findthere was 'nothing good on.' And he'd watched all his DVDs so many timesthat he'd lost interest in them. Some people may have turned to a gameconsole next, but Brett had.
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