It was a test, I suppose, to see how far my dad would be willing to go; to find the extent of his perversions…And mine. I always enjoyed testing the limits, my own and others'. I'd never considered i****t before, and my father had certainly never abused me. My need to dominate hadn't grown from anything like that, it was just me, and any psychological analysis would have been wasted trying to determine why. This would be something new for me, and perhaps for him as well, but I had no crystal ball into the man's heart. He could have fantasized about me for years, and I suddenly found myself hoping he had. Wouldn't that be something, I smiled to myself. The idea that my own parent had lusted after me secretly, and well enough so I'd never suspected gave me a warmth deep in my stomach. It didn't occur to me that such desires might be wrong, I wasn't wired that way. There were very few things I'd found sexually that hadn't pleased me in one form or another, and i****t would be little. Plus, my grandparents left me a trust fund. Not much, but enough for clothes and stuff. They hated my mother for getting knocked up at seventeen, but, luckily, they didn't take it out on me. When they were alive, I had a bit of an oasis to go to. They're gone now. But they did leave me some money. And they made sure I could get into the trust fund at a young age, and made sure my mother couldn't get at it-their banker is my co-trustee. I use that to buy clothes, toiletries, stuff like that. If I didn't, I wouldn't have any." I think my mother figured out just as I entered puberty that she was getting too old and used up to use her body for a meal ticket out of the slums. So, that's when she decided I'd be a fine one. I lost my virginity at 15. She arranged it. He was thirty." Poor Ed gasped at that. "I don't know for sure if he paid my mother for the 'privilege', but I have my suspicions. Evidently, I wasn't good enough, because he never came back. I guess my screaming terror when he.
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