Once again, mydrinking companion tonight would be my insomnia - and my damn brainrefusing to shut down.Tears welled into my eyes as I thought of her lovely face constantly infront of me, haunting my mind each and every time I would close my eyes.How did my life get so screwed up? I cried to the empty room.Pulling the blanket that had been covering me like a shroud, up over myshoulders and almost to my neck. Reaching out, once again I refilled myglass. I wanted to feel nothing, and if I died right here in thisapartment, perhaps her life would have been better for it.I kept the room bathed in darkness, although night in the city - nothingis ever truly dark. Light from adjoining buildings and the streets beloweked into the room and illuminated it enough to see the damage that Icaused with my one stupid wish!I stood and rested my forehead against the glass; the coolness provideda slight bit of relief to the pounding of my head. Closing my eyes, Icould still recall the moments leading up. “Lita and I think we could remodel Sunny’s old trailer and have a king bed. We’ll lose some convenience in the sleeping compartment, but we’d get a bigger bed.”“Then you agree with us,” Carlita said. “Engineers should have practical field experience.”“Oh, Dave thinks that, too,” I said. “He just doesn’t want to ruin your nails.”Brindy, smirking, showed me ONE nail. Carlita giggled. Dave just shook his head.“Control her, Dave,” I said.“Yeah, THAT’S gonna work.”“If you’re gonna be mean to me, Brindy, I’m going back into my office.”“It’s probably safer there,” Dave laughed.I returned to my office. The thought crosses my mind – me and Haley and Deena doing the same thing that Dave’s going to do with Carlita and Brindy. Yeah, we could. It’d be fun, it’d definitely be educational as far as their engineering careers, but we have obstacles that Dave doesn’t have. Neither of my girls is eighteen – therefore proscribed from actual work on a project, and that other thing – only TWO of us are.
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