Muje ek call aaya.Mere ek customer ka tha.Voh bhot hi acha tha.Mere liye clients bhi laake deta tha.Thode time baad main usse bhi commission dene lagi.Toh usne muje ek aadmi se milvaya.Voh bhot hi handsome tha.Hum mile aur thodi baatein kari aur voh aadmi muje le gaya hotel mein.Usne muje bhot hi ache se treat kiya.Humne juice mangaya aur aise hi baith k baatein kar rahe the yaha vaha ki.Maine ek kurti pehni thi aur jeans.Usko mera dressing pasand aaya.Usne muje mere looks pe bhi compliment kiya.Usko bhara hua sharir pasand tha isliye usne muje bulaya tha.Voh ek shadi shuda aadmi tha but usko apni biwi se sexual satisfaction nai mil raha tha.Isliye usse maza chahiye tha.Maine usko pucha.”Kya apki biwi apko pyar nai karti”Usne kaha “Karti hai aur main bhi apni biwi se bhot pyar karta hu.But voh sexual satisfaction nai mil raha hai muje usse.”Me “Toh main apko voh satisfaction de deti hu”Aisa kehti hi main uske paas gayi aur uske gaal pe ek kiss kiya. Voh ekdum se sehem gaya aur thoda. She believed she deserved more of whatever she wanted, and somehow that whatever included sex.So I stopped beating myself up. I don't preen or pose, though ... Too artificial pretending to be anything else to enjoy myself, is the way I look at it. I know I'm not Brad Pitt, but I'm not Lyle Lovett, either ... and besides, Lyle did all right, didn't he, at least for awhile.But I was angry, after I stopped beating myself up. How could she dare to destroy the promise of what we had shared? The bitch! Instead of holding hands and looking out at friends and family at our 50th anniversary, I found myself trying to decide if I could trust anyone enough to risk trying to love again. And for me sex had always been associated with love.I ate at home, which meant I learned how to cook. I exercised, since I wasn't dating, which meant I actually got into shape ... better shape then I had ever been before; better shape than most of the hard bodies that seem to be everywhere on the Coast. I worked.
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