Realizing he was the target of her obsession she swiveled the bar stool and turned towards him. The bartender nodded his head in her direction calling Tom’s attention to her. He smiled and she froze. He introduced himself, and she began to tell him how much and how long she had wanted to meet him. She was a big fan! Looking back at it, she realized what a fool she must have seemed to be. She was just another groupie to him, stalking him for what, an autograph? A dance? A song? A night in his bed? She didn’t want any of that. She just really wanted to meet him, and that’s what she got. He was so genuine and friendly. She was instantly at ease and comfortable, and they chatted through dinner like old friends. They ate dinner, he sang a set. She listened as he spent the break talking about music. He sang another set, she listened, he spent the next break talking about her. He walked her home like the perfect gentleman. He called the next day, and asked her to come hear his concert that. ”In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits...”I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”“No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my bits and you know what that means don’t you?”I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned.
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