Many people had tried over time (weight lifters, longshoremen, etc.), but nobody could get another drop out of a lemon after the host had squeezed it.Then one day, a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit. In a tiny, squeaky voice he said, "I'd like to try the bet."After the laughter had died down, the host said, "OK," grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the little man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.As the crowd cheered, the host paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?"The man replied, "I work for the IRS."On his way home from work at the Pentagon, a Marine colonel found himself completely stopped in a snarl of traffic. "Wow," he thought to himself, "this traffic is worse than usual. Nothing's moving." Then he spotted a. ”“Yeah, and Bethany knocked my socks off, too. So spill it, how did you know?”“The guy I was with when you and I were apart had dated her for a few months. He told me how she was.”“Jennifer, not to be indelicate, but when you say you were with a guy, that implies more than just a simple date.”She was silent.“Jennifer? Talk to me, please.”“It was unsatisfying and unfulfilling.”My breathing stopped and an icy chill pierced my heart.“You had sex?”She stuck her tongue out at me and started laughing.“It was a date! He didn’t even get a goodnight kiss. But we do need to talk about your reaction.”“I’m going to go and throw myself in the dumpster over there. Garbage pickup is today. Hopefully the incinerator will be quick.” I groaned, still shivering.“Why would you react like that?”“The same reason you were hurt by Becky. Because I love you.”“Why is it OK for you to have as many women as you want, even when we’re together, but you freak out because I might have fucked a guy when we were.
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