She must have loved me at first, what small six year old girl could possibly not love a baby brother? But as the years passed resentment grew, and although I didn't recognize it at the time, I know now that I induced in her incredibly strong emotions, a love/hate pendulum that threatened her happiness.When I was ten, eleven, twelve, she would often wrestle with me as we played, and looking back I can still see the joy in her eyes as her sixteen or seventeen year old body sat astride me, forcing me down, hurting me just enough to get me to cry and beg for mercy.I have no memories of any sexual association with these games; at that age I was still too young to harbor even the remotest interest in sex. But now I guess that Mary must have somehow received some sado-erotic pleasure in subduing her little brother, probably some early stirrings of the two sided sexual person she was destined to become.When I was twelve Mary started first year medicine at NYU and with her living in residence. “Brandy, me and Andre made a deal. A deal that made me a lot of money, and you ain’t going to fuck it up for me. You’re going to do everything he says, Hell its things you would be doing anyway.” Brandy looked at her father quizzically. “Daddy, I don’t understand.” She was surprised how even her voice was because she knew what he meant, even if she was still pretending she didn’t. She was shaking inside. The bigger man walked toward her and she flinched back. He caught her upper arm in a vice grip, his huge fingers dug into her pale skin. “Owwww!” she moaned. When Andre spoke, his voice was deep and powerful. “Where is the bedroom?” He asked. “At the end of the hall.” Her father answered. There was a bit of nerves in his voice. “Daddy please!” Brandy called as the huge man pulled her down the narrow hallway. She looked over her shoulder, the thinner man was following and her dad was behind him. Andre opened the door and turned on the light. Brandy always hated her dad’s room..
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