..and you're about to become her," said Jenna. "Look, Marty, there'sno easy way to say this but in our visions Susie and I are together andshe is you. That's the reality we have to face." So we're breaking up?" Fate is breaking us up. You're turning into a woman and I'm not alesbian," she said, looking at him appraisingly. He was slowlyshrinking, his hair getting longer, his frame less bulky, buddingbreasts now visible beneath his cycling top. " Plus we've seen thefuture and I know for a fact that in it you're happy with Frank." Frank?" said Martin. "Who's Frank?" Frank Mason, a local plumber," said Jenna. "In our visions Susie and Italked about you two and how happy you were together." So that was his name," said Martin quietly, looking stunned."Yes," said Jenna. "I know him, so I think I must be the one whointroduces you." You never did say what you saw in your vision," said Susan, looking athim curiously."Myself as a woman...as you," he said, his voice now soundingdistinctly. Like Guinevere, I complicated the happily ever after-ing. I can never confess to him and destroy his deceived reality happiness. Why be Mordred and replace it with a harsher truth like my mother did to me? I don’t want him to lose his old age’s bliss with a truth that cripples and destroys. Yet he doesn’t and can never know me, the whole me. This I regret most.I don’t know if he had a secret puppet shadow, a hidden life unknown to me. My affairs may have blinded me to his. He left on business trips, went to other worlds alone, like me when driving the Desoto around the corner from home. If he had a secret puppet shadow, an Alviso train kiss if there were others or worse, he loved another, I don’t want to know a reality which destroys my old age’s bliss. Why throw out our fictitious happiness for harsh unknown truth which can’t be revoked once learned?We never know ourselves completely, let alone another. I do know, I’ve been selfish keeping and protecting my secret puppet shadow..
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