? I lookedaround the dorm. The other girls were giving me an entertained side-eye.?Uh, hold on a moment.?I left the room, and the dorm. It was a minute?s walk to the front doorof the lodge and I went outside into the night air. It was, of course,dark, so I didn?t stray far, but it least it was quiet.?Okay mum.??So, I talked to your father and I know he gave you the talk,? Mum said,and I was relieved when she continued ?so I don?t think I need to do allof that. Especially since I?m sure sex ed probably covered femalereproduction and periods and...? she trailed off. ?I know you know allthis, though if you want anything explained or clarified you just haveto ask sweetie...??I?m good,? I firmly said. The air was cold, I was out in shorts and astrappy top. I could feel my nipples hardening and my nethersshrivelling. Neither of those sensations were making this conversationeasier.?Well, then, let?s be frank. I?m sure you?ve noticed your chest ispretty large. How big is it???The bra says. This seemed considerably more plausible than the concept of asoul, immortal or otherwise.What I'd discovered in the short time since I woke was forcing me tothink again.For the brain inside my head had access to the unique patterns of neuralsignals that made up Colin Armstrong's memories. Assuming that transplanttechnology wasn't quite at that stage yet, I had no option but to concedethat something else had put them there. Whether I called it my essence,my spirit, my disembodied consciousness or indeed my soul was beside thepoint; whatever had transmigrated from Colin's body to this one, it hadbrought his memories with it.I quickly abandoned this futile speculation. What use was metaphysicalenlightenment when I didn't know my own name?All at once I was overcome by despair. The task in front of me was toobig. I could adjust to being female, but the thought of meeting otherpeople, of trying to pass myself off as this woman and of what mighthappen if I got it wrong, made me feel.
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