I got my breath back after several minutes and managed to get off the bed and stand up. I shut the window, still unmindful of the possibility that someone could be watching me and ran the bath again.I had just masturbated for the first time in my life. I had always been told that ‘nice girls don’t do that’ and had kind of believed it. Now I had done it and experienced an orgasm, something I had never had having sex like a ‘nice’ girl; I could not believe that it was a bad thing. I lay in the warm, soapy bath slowly and gently moving my hands over my body and thought about everything that had happened. I thought about my husband and how he must never find out about this. I was actually quite ashamed of what I had just done but that just made it even more exciting for me for some reason.I finished my bath and went about the rest of my day as if nothing had happened. I did not feel any desire to masturbate again and the rude words that had been buzzing around my head had faded into the. I’d given up on trying to find Olu while I was still in London. The investigator that I’d hired hadn’t been able to find any more information about Olu’s whereabouts, and it was too distracting for me to keep searching myself. I decided, after a long, painful consideration, to give it up altogether. I knew that in time, I would forget about Olu, just as he had probably forgotten about me. I threw my energies into preparations for my relocation to Paris, and with all of the extra practicing, setting up the tour, and everything else, all thoughts of Olu had faded from my mind. But after Henriette’s revelation, all of my memories came flooding back in, and I had to fight with all of my will to keep from crying. I did miss him, still, and surprisingly, my memories of Raymond always seemed to be overshadowed by my thoughts of Olu. ‘Olivia,’ Henriette knocked on the door, opening it at the same time. ‘I want to apologize… I shouldn’t have taken it upon myself to do this… I was only hoping.
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