First time we had sex I was shocked by her! She had her first of 4 fucking earth shattering orgasms no more than 5 seconds after I slid my cock into her! Then proceeded to have 3 more in a span of at most 4 or 5 minutes, and that 4th one forced me to lose control of myself and I literally exploded in her a huge one! The best fuck I had ever had bar none!The next night she came to my apartment in China around 7pm and we were nude and all over each other by 7:02. She fairly quickly got me on my back on the bed and squatted between my legs facing me, and honest to God truth, gave me a blowjob that I never thought could be that good, and to top it off, swallowed my cum I shot in her mouth, she swallowed it all with no discomfort, uneasiness, just did it like taking a small shot of water like in her mouth and swallowing it! Later on I asked her where she had learned to do that so good, and she said watching a few videos, and told me this was the first time she had ever let a guy come in. Naturally, the poor bloke went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him. “Shit!” he moaned “this means I’ll never be able to experience an erection ever again!” “Of course you will” one of the doctors soothed. It’ll just have to be someone else’s, that’s all”.A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. Finally he spots two houses so he goes up to the first house and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off. He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says “What’s up with your neighbours?” and the owner of the house says “Oh that’s the Robinson’s, they’re both deaf. She’s telling him to go milk the cow and he’s telling her to go fuck herself!”An out of work actor gets a call from his agent one day. “I’ve got you a job” says the agent. “That’s great!” says the actor “What is it?” “Well” says the agent “it’s a one-liner” “That’s okay” replies the actor “I’ve been out of work for.
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