‘What choices do we have? They all want to continue, but there are a lot of weaknesses that have shown through.’ ‘Leslie can’t lead anymore,’ Emma declared. ‘She’s too weak, emotionally. Vivian is too emotionally tied in, so she’s out too.’ I looked at her, digesting what she had just said and agreeing with both assessments. What could we do? How could we get the game back on track? The answer seemed extremely simple to me. ‘Why don’t you come back and lead us again,’ I suggested eagerly. ‘I don’t think that would be a good idea right now,’ she disclosed in a very somber voice. ‘Actually, it’s a perfect idea right now,’ I disagreed quickly. ‘You said you didn’t know if you could come back and not lead. Here’s your chance to lead again. Tell them I made the choice and let it fall on me. Then you are back in business.’ She looked at me longingly across the table. I stared at her anxiously, hoping she would see my points and agree with me. ‘Now is not the right time for me,’ she said. As she was talking I could see the tears building in her big brown eyes. By the time she told me, she was practically crying. On Friday, the last night at the beach, she and Jake was on their walk. They began to kiss, and as they kissed, things began to get hot. Lauren told me how Jake carried her to a secluded area and how he made love to her for the first time. The way she explained the whole scene was so romantic and I was jealous. I hugged her after she completed her story, but I didn’t know what to say. One part of me wanted to scold her for having sex and not being married. We had been taught in church that good girls remained pure. The other part of me wanted to run to Ben and make him make love to me so we would not be the only virgins in our group. I went home with Lauren that day, and after lunch she told me every distinct detail of her deflowering. By the time I returned home, I was no longer envious, I was horny. A couple weeks after learning my best friend was no longer.
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