I guess after that request I shouldn’t have been surprised when the door was opened by a small Asian woman in what I guessed was native dress. She said “hello” with a very strong accent, took my hand and brought me inside. I saw Joe in the main room of their place sipping on whiskey which I knew was his favorite. He greeted me and said that his woman wanted to give me a traditional greeting since it was the first time I had visited there. She pulled my hand so I followed and she kept leading me and we went into a bedroom.I was getting a little uncomfortable and asked, “What are we doing here?”She looked at me with a smile and said something in her language which I, of course, couldn’t understand a bit of. Then she began removing my clothes. “What the hell?” I thought. “What kind of tradition is this to take someone’s clothes off when they’re visiting?”When I protested, in very poor English she said, “You do this. Enjoy.” So I decided just to see where this went and I was soon down to. Isabella came about when I was bored with the Battle Babes, and about the time romance became hot. Seems I was pretty good at it, and two of the four became movies. There was a huge online debate going on as to who she actually was. I laughed a couple of times about the guesses, but so far they were nowhere near the truth. Smiley came along when I needed a nom de plume for a series of mysteries I developed. They were the least successful of the bunch, but still made more money than I ever thought I’d see in my lifetime, so I couldn’t complain. Combined, they added up to a very nice chunk of change. And now the cat was out of the bag. ‘You gonna tell anybody?’ ‘Shit no(did I mention that on average one out of three words out of mouth were generally swear words?)I’m not. I would never do that, man. You’re my friend, and I just don’t have that many. Still pretty cool though.’ I believed him. In the time I’d known him I’d never heard him betray a confidence. ‘Good. Now relax, while I.
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