"You were never allowed to give me anything, he's so used to being an idle bastard, he expects his own wife to be the same, but you're not mum, I know you're not."I'd written my new address down on the back of an envelope which I pressed into her hand along with a twenty-pound note,"Don't let him get hold of either of these mum and please think seriously about what he's doing to you, mine's only a small house, but it's big enough for both of us."A quick peck on the cheek and I left before her tears got to me and I changed my mind.The house wasn't bad at all, but it was cold and a little bit damp, so I turned the gas and electricity on and went down to a little charity shop just down the road where I purchased a pile of bedding, a kettle and a few bits of crockery.Dropping them off at the house, I went to the corner shop and bought some tea and coffee, milk and sugar and a few bits to eat. When I got back, I saw my boss's car outside, and he was just unloading the last of eight big. She told me later that she’d refused him at first, but lust can energise persistence. He kept it up, and protected from the possibility of pregnancy by her hysterectomy, she gave in and enjoyed it. I knew nothing about it when it started and her lack of precautions meant she brought home a virus for me. Luckily it was only mononucleosis; it could have been worse, but after I’d spent four months bedridden with high fevers her affair was solidified into other plans.Breasts mattered as much in those troubled times, so visible, their curves a little less pert by then and maybe that’s why she was tempted, but seeing them every day was enough to remind me what I was losing.It tore me apart when she told me, I could barely walk in a straight line for a week and lost a stone in a month. There are no words for that pain; why would anyone invent a way of describing something that would be so dreadful to read. It does diminish, but it stays there, dormant waiting to be nudged back into.
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