I looked to her, drunk and dejected on the sofa beside me. When I looked back to my future self he had gone, but a little star had remained in my chest, unseen. ‘Kim?’ I said, my voice breaking. She didn’t turn to look. ‘It’s okay. We’re all going to be okay.’ She sighed again. ‘How do you know that?’ I opened my mouth but faltered. How did I know it was going to be okay? I was silent. She looked at me now, saw something in my face. ‘I’m sorry. I’m in a shit mood.’ ‘It’s okay. Really it is. I feel like shit too.’ Something made me not look away. Things unknown were breaking in my chest and my eyes began to sting. I didn’t know what was happening but I knew this: I cared for Kim and I wanted her to be happy. ‘Yeah why? You’ve got everything to live for.’ She smiled wryly. ‘Me? Are you kidding? I’m a fuckin mess Kim.’ She smiled and looked down. No! I don’t want this to be about me. Cheer her up mate – say something! ‘What pisses you off the most?’ ‘Everything. I hate everything. My. Par meri kismat main kuch or hi likha tha. ek baarHumari family or pados ki ek aunty or wo unki family sath haridwar gaye ghumaine ke liye.jahan mera unko chodne ka sapna pura ho gaya.do din wahan ghumaine ke baad jis din humain wapis ana tha, wahan par humare ek relative rahte hain mere papa ne bhabhi ke husband se kaha ki humain waha jane hai milne ke liye to maine kaha ki bhaiya aap inko ghuma lao main bhabhi or aunty or mera chota bhai yahi ruk jajte hai or market bhi ghum lenge to wo bole ki thik nahi to baad main jaate time late ho jaayenge. Unke jaane ke baad hum sab ganga main nahne ke liye chale gaye. jahan hum naha rahe the wa us time koi nahi tha. to maine dekha ki bhabhi siff rek chuni hi bandhe hui hain mere to hosh hi udh gaye…or wo usi tarah paani main anty ke saath thode se faasle par nahane lagi or jab wo naha kar bahar aayi to wo unki chuni unke badan se chipi hui thi or unka badan kayamat lag raha tha..main to jaise pagal hi ho gaya tha.phir humaine change kiya.
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