I had no idea what time it was or how many of my chores were neglected. I was tired and incapable of thinking clearly, a lingering result of the drugged wine combined with so many strong feelings and new sensations. I was not afraid of the Abbess though. I had a feeling she wanted my true work to lie in the rituals enacted in the Misericord. I thought of her, strong and imperious, bending the lesser sisters to her will. She would submit me to the same domination. It was to be my fate to be her toy, her thing, forever. I decided to go back to sleep. I twisted the neck of the Beautoix effigy continuously, taking out on it my frustration and confusion as I walked the grounds, absorbed in thought. Approaching the entrance to my dormitory I saw Sister Mary sitting on the stoop with an enormous black cat in her lap which she massaged with both hands, rolling its furred skin up and talking in a low sweet voice the way one talks with children. The animal blinked its alabaster eyes with. But, I don't know why she was tryin' to call me. She knew that bein' with that man would kill any feelings I had for her—well, almost anyway.The woman sitting next to her was almost sneering. "I don't know Adrienne. I mean I don't know why you're whining like this. You've been talking about getting away from him almost since I've known you, and that's ten years, girl," said Mavis Billings."I just don't know what I want," said Adrienne. "Yes, I know what I've said in the past, but now that it's come to this, I just don't know."Look," said Mavis, "Alan's a good looking guy. He's got a good job. If it's his dick you want, go for it, girl."Adrienne, looked up at her long time friend. "Maybe you're right, but I just don't know, Mavis. We've been together so long. We know everything about each other. He's had my back on any number of occasions, and me his. It just don't seem right him dumping me like this. If I could just talk to him, but; but, he won't come near me." Well, that should.
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