Forever. With a stranger. He must have felt the same—I saw his knuckles turning white from holding my hands so hard. He was crushing the delicate bones of my fingers, but I didn’t care. It seemed as though we both needed an anchor, something solid to hold onto, some sort of slight connection that might guide us toward a semblance of happiness. He lifted my veil, and kissed my brow so gently I almost didn’t feel it. Quietly, so only I could hear, he whispered, ‘Smile. For now, we both must smile.’ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Our wedding celebration passed in a sickening blur, far too fast for my liking. I was dreading its end, when I would be handed off into the care of my new husband for our first night together. I knew what I had to do, what was expected of me. I laughed into my goblet at the thought of my mother’s kind advice: ‘Lie back and think of England.’ Yes, Eleanor. Think of all the strong sons you’ll bear him. Your husband. This stranger. I was suddenly very,. Even with the heavier materials, I could see the swing of her breasts against the fabric. During the usual pre-class business at the lectern, I tried not to draw attention to her, nor my own erection. She picked the same seat that she had occupied thirty years before and settled in with a grin that no-one else saw but me. Fortunately the seat immediately in front of her was empty, and as class began I saw her begin to casually open several of the upper buttons and pull aside the middle of her dress so that the nipple of her right breast was peeking out at me. The show had begun. Usually when I lecture I move all over the room, using charts and slide illustrations to keep the students from falling asleep. But tonight I was rooted behind the lectern, unable to come into the open because of the obvious bulge in my slacks. Each evening it was necessary to turn off the classroom lights when showing slides, and when I did, the students brought flashlights so.
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