However, both Ben and my mother are right. Last night, at the piano, it was as if the piece of my heart that loved to play had left me. I could still play scales and sightread music, but there was something that was simply not there. In college, at least I had the excuse of class, homework, my job in the cafeteria, and an active social life with a few extracurriculars as excuses for not practicing. But back home, I have no such excuse. In fact, it seems as if I chose a zombie-like lifestyle. Mostly I sleep, watch television and mindlessly surf the internet. I suppose that this is one of my ways of escaping reality. The other method I use to combat the monotonous strain of college life, outside of using even more monotony at home, is a bit less healthy. That is, if living a sedentary life is healthy in the first place. Contrary to popular belief, not all college students go out and get plastered every night. I’m not really one for drinking among large groups of people with music. “But sharing fantasies can be fun. It’s almost as much fun to play inside someone’s mind, as it is to play with their body.” “So what kind of fantasies did you have before you were old enough for the real thing?” I asked. “Well, my favourite, when I was just sweet sixteen, was walking into the boy’s shower room at school,” she replied. “You have to understand, I was quite insecure at the time, a shy, slightly spotty teenager who wasn’t sure if any of the guys would fancy her. But in my fantasies guys always acted like I was a total sex goddess. I didn’t make myself look more glamorous in my fantasies, you understand. It was only their reactions to me that I enhanced somewhat. So anyway, it was after sports practice and I strode confidently into the boy’s shower room, wearing white t-shirt, white shorts, white socks and white sandshoes. All in white, because after all I was a virgin. I looked over the dozen or so boys standing naked under the showers. They were a pretty motley bunch,.
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