Halloween arrived and I got home from work and went up to our bedroom tofind a bag next to the bed. I noticed that the clothes in the bag wereall girls? clothes so I called out to Jane.?I?ve found your clothes, my love, but where are mine???In the bag next to the bed.??Ha, ha very funny, they?re girl?s clothes.??A man in a dress is funny!? Jane called back. ?Don?t you remember howyou always used to enjoy wearing a dress as a boy??I said that I did not remember. I went downstairs to her and said ?Inany case I am a man now and men don?t wear dresses.??Look how cute you were,? Jane said showing me a picture of me dressed ina tutu.?Are you sure that was me???Absolutely,? Jane said showing me another picture of me dressed asWonder Woman.?I wasn?t wearing a dress,? I said, clutching at straws and just as Isaid this she showed me a picture of me wearing a blonde wig and dressedas Supergirl.?You were in this picture, Supergirl,? she replied.I knew I was defeated.?Listen, Honey,? Jane said. "This last one is the biggie. As long as you are seeing other guys I will no longer perform oral sex on you since I could very easily pick up with my mouth whatever diseases some other guy might give you. You have heard it said that when you have sex with someone you are having sex with everyone that person has had sex with right? Three days before the wedding you will have to give me a report from a reputable local doctor or lab stating that you are disease free." How can you ask me to do that? I thought you loved me. Asking me to do that is just disgusting." Now you know how I feel about what you are asking me to do. Anyway, those are my conditions. If you want us to go forward you will accept them. You accept them and I'll slide a ring on your finger and you can turn your mother loose to do her thing." I'm going to need to think about this." No you don't Gail. If you want us together as bad as you say you do there is nothing to think about. If you really do need to think about it.
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