I snorted. Ina was anything but a slut. It took me half a year to get her to sleep with me. Still, people change… What if she really did? The only way to find out was to ask her. And to ask her, I would have to go to her house. But could I face her? After all, I was not entirely without fault. I never should have kissed Pomelo. I would have to explain. But why should I explain myself? She was not my girlfriend anymore. Her having sex with Warren was proof enough. But why should she explain to me? I was not her girlfriend anymore. My head started pounding with an imminent headache. Why the fuck was I arguing with myself? 'Go to her,' a small voice in my brain said. With every mouthful of whiskey, that idea became more appealing. Finally I gave in and in ten minutes I was in front of her house. I dug in my pocket for my phone and saw that it was already 3 a.m. I decided I didn’t care and dialed her up. After five rings she answered, her voice sleepy. “Justin?” “I’m outside your. In the bedroom, I let myself become an object before his lust and existed to merely please his desires. I found this partly degrading at first, but soon found it exciting. My body was not my own when we were together -- it was his. I disengaged myself when we fucked and found myself experiencing my body and my orgasms through his body and through his orgasms. And I discovered that I wasn't sexual except in the act of submission, except when my sexuality was extracted from me by my husband's m*****ations. My friends had no idea. I never talked about sex to any of them. I wore long skirts or dresses that did not reveal my slender, sexualized body. I attended church twice a week, helped with its organizing efforts and taught Sunday School for a time. Nobody knew about my slavish sexual nature.We had our son when I was just twenty and I ensured that we raised him in a conservative and familial environment like the one I was brought up in. My husband went to work and I stayed home to look.
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