I put it on the chair and turned back to see my mum for the first time ever, naked all the way from head to toe, she is lovely. Her legs and bum, pale where the skin hadn’t seen the sun as much as at her top. She had a big dark hairy bush growing at the front of her and true enough no willy or balls like I have, just a fold going down between her legs. “See” she said, “no willy” wow this was amazing, I `spose Miss Kennedy must be the same, though I`ve only seen her from above, and not close up, and I nearly said so, but thought I had better not as they might tell her and I wouldn’t have that hideaway at dinnertimes from the bullies! Mum kissed me then lay back on her bed and said, “Did I want to see any more?” was there more to see I wondered, so I said, “yes please” and with a grin she opened her legs wide. Outside every half-minute or so that old foghorn blew, it sounded like a giant fart, as time for me stood still. Mum pointed out a pair of crinkly lips, like the wattle on our. She couldn’t help herself. It soon became clear that I would be her next project. ‘You know, Jeff,’ she said, taking a sip of chardonnay, ‘now that you’re down to your proper weight, I’ll bet you could use a new wardrobe, couldn’t you?’ ‘Yeah, I’ve bought a few new things, but…sure.’ That Saturday Shannon and I met at the best mall in town. Four hours and several thousand dollars later we walked out laden with men’s clothing, everything from boxer shorts to double-breasted suits. Deciding that I had a rugged, ’40s style face, William Holden with a dash of Gary Cooper, Shannon chose the retro look in my clothing. After our shopping spree we went to a hair stylist, where she had my sandy brown hair cut in a way that recalled that era: short on the sides and back, full and wavy on top. Back at my apartment, she picked out an outfit for me. ‘Now,’ she said, ‘go into the bedroom and put these on. Let’s see how well we’ve done.’ I emerged a few moments later in full regalia: dark tweed.
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