Bethany added her views as the girl who had, as she put it, ‘bowed out’. That led to a nearly two-hour discussion of relationships with Kara, Bethany, and I playing the roles of the ‘adults’ in the room, answering questions for the college ‘kids’. Jorge, Trish, and Abbie had good things to add, as did Jennifer and Josie.“Kara,” Lena, a new Freshman said. “I’m sorry, but I have to ask how you could ever accept being ‘second’ wife?! It makes no sense!”Kara smiled, “I’m not the ‘second wife’! We’re all equal in the relationship. Besides, if there’s a ‘first wife’, it’s not Jessica, it’s Elyse!”“What?” Joan asked, clearly confused.“It’s a very complex set of relationships,” Bethany replied. “But if there’s a senior wife in this polygamous setup, it’s Elyse. She’s the one who manages the household finances, does more to advise Steve, and is more involved in his day-to-day life than anyone. She’s the CFO of his company in addition to being mother to two of his boys.”“Elyse, why?” Lena. "Noel, I believe that you loved her very much but I'm sure she wouldn't have liked you to mourn her this way for the rest of your life."The words came out without some conscious thinking."No, the love was not destructive. It was the anger that I felt after her death, and that I still sometimes feel. There once was a person who had gone through something similar who warned me about the anger burning inside. I didn't really believe it, then, 'till it almost destroyed me and the people close to me."I made sure to look in her eyes when I continued."Being with nice good people like you, Candice and Kathryn ... and making you feel better ... fills some hollow space inside me and makes ME feel better. So the truth is that I'm really doing this for selfish reasons. I don't really know why I'm telling you all this - or maybe I do. There is something behind your eyes that reminds me of something I see in the mirror each morning, or maybe it's just my imagination."This time it was her turn to.
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