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Larry doesn't mind his life, except for one thing, his mother-in-law. He hates her just as much as she hates him. He is not crazy about his father-in-law either, but it's the mother-in-law that drives him nuts. As he walks through the mall looking for a gift for his wife's birthday, Larry notices an antique shop. He looks inside and doesn't see anything for his wife, but something does catch his eye. He doesn't know why it does, but he feels like he must have the old oil lamp. He thinks back to when he was younger and remembers how he would always make up lists in his head if her ever had a genie, but came to realize that it would never happen. When he sees the lamp he is compelled to buy just for his childhood fantasy. He asks the shop owner how much for it. The shop owner looks at the dusty old thing and says twenty dollars. He thinks its not much, even if it doesn't have a genie it is still a good piece for conversation starting. He takes the lamp home to show his. We know you’re a sensible boy but we don’t want you to take any risks with HIV or AIDS.”Dad handed me a plain brown paper bag. Inside were a couple of packs of condoms.“What are you talking about? What circumstances?”“It’s okay, son, your mother and I both know,” said Dad, tapping the side of his nose. “We just want you to know we still love you whatever your sexuality.”“I’m straight, Dad. Why is that an issue?”“It’s okay, son. We can understand you not wanting to come out while you’re still at school. We’ll keep your secret until you’re ready.”“What, you think I’m gay?”“Your mother and I have known for a long time.”“But what about those girlie magazines in the bottom of my wardrobe?”“We realised they were just for show. We haven’t found where you hide your gay magazines, so we’re thankful for your discretion. We wouldn’t want your sister to see them for a few years yet.”“Dad, I’m not gay!”Again Dad tapped his nose knowingly, then he went indoors.I put all the tools away then went.
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